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A Psychological Cry for Moral Help

As we go about our lives, there is something happening around us that is not deemed “newsworthy” or “important” by many people. It’s toxic, troubling, and traumatic. It’s happening on college campuses. It’s happening next door to you. It’s the elephant in the room that everybody notices, but does not want to address for countless reasons. It’s what our generation praises and feels empowered by, but refuses to let their parents know about. And shockingly enough, it’s happening at conservative conferences thanks to people who do not  practice what they preach.

So what is it? It’s the hookup culture. For too long, it has been discarded and discounted as a criticism of “crazy social conservative Puritans” who are intolerant of “privacy” and not accepting of “free love.” Even on our side of the political fence, supposed “conservatives” have called it “inevitable” and have accepted it, even if they claim to be religious.

So if this is not “newsworthy,” why bother addressing it? Well, it is “newsworthy,” because it is always daily news for most college students. And guess what? It’s affecting everybody in our generation, because it is ruining the potential for life-long love that we all aspire to have. With each hookup a person experiences, a little piece of their heart metaphorically chips off, which leaves them more prone to divorce in the future.

Hooking up is defined as a sexual encounter “between two people who are not dating or in a serious relationship and do not expect anything further.” It lacks commitment, is highly based upon impulse, and commonly involves alcohol and small talk. Sounds like romantic, sappy love from The Notebook, eh?

A study from Princeton University found that before hooking up, “girls expect emotional involvement almost twice as often as guys” and “guys…are in part motivated by hopes of improving their social reputation, or of bragging about their exploits to friends the next day.” After hooking up, the study found that “91% of girls admit to having feelings of regret, at least occasionally” and “80% of girls wish the hook-up hadn’t happened.”

As psychiatrist Dr. Miriam Grossman points out, female college students are emotionally drained from a hookup due to high oxytocin levels. Generally, the hormone oxytocin is released during sexual intercourse to promote attachment. Its impact, Dr. Grossman points out, explains why female college students easily ignore “partner’s faults, and…take risks [they] otherwise wouldn’t.” As a result, Dr. Grossman concludes that female college students who engage in the hookup culture easily find themselves longing for a relationship with the random guy that used them for sex last night.

Seeing how the hookup culture is responsible for the rise of STD’s and psychological distress, why would any young person want to suffer from such awful repercussions? Factors such as the breakdown of the family unit and the influence of raging moral relativist leftists explain why many young people find the hookup culture to be “fun” and “liberating.”

First of all, the breakdown of the family unit has created a common situation in which young people are disconnected from their parents and thus rebel against them. By choosing to hook up with random strangers, young people are essentially trying to find love in others that was absent in their households. This explains, for example, why young women who have divorced parents are more likely to hookup in college than young women who have married parents and intact families.

Secondly, the impact of moral relativist leftists on our culture since the 1960’s is also responsible for this new devastating sexual revolution. By influencing young women through campus Women’s Centers, leftists have legitimized the prominence of casual sex as the new norm. By creating shows like Jersey Shore and The Real World, leftists have influenced young people to liberate themselves from “evil Judeo-Christian values” that are part of our nation’s foundation.

Since the hookup culture has been perpetuated by the Left, why, you may ask, would it be connected with conservative conferences like CPAC? Aren’t these conferences free from such Leftist ideology? Well, guess again. Plenty of young women who call themselves “conservative” attend CPAC boasting the latest pair of hooker heels and short skirts, hoping to go home with a lovely stranger later in the night. And the worse part of it all is when they claim to be religious, donning a cross necklace with a revealing blouse. Likewise, there are plenty of young men who are equally guilty for partaking in such behavior as well.

Why should these young women and men be let off the hook? Aren’t they just as guilty as the liberal young women and men who love hooking up? Instead of dismissing their actions, these people should be held accountable for their actions and should be exposed for their faux “conservative values.” Being conservative is not about picking and choosing what to believe in. Being conservative means practicing and preaching all of its principles, including its core traditional values.

As the next generation of future parents and people who will start families, we must stop this toxic culture from further ruining the potential for life-long love that we all truly desire in life. It’s time to talk about the white elephant that is plaguing college campuses and is responsible for devastating the lives of many young men and women. If Kelly Clarkson was able to condemn the hookup culture, so could we.

Anna Maria Hoffman | University of California at San Diego | @AM_Hoffman

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5 Responses

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  1. Liz
    Apr 05, 2012 - 04:33 PM

    “Instead of dismissing their actions, these people should be held accountable for their actions and should be exposed for their faux “conservative values.” Being conservative is not about picking and choosing what to believe in. Being conservative means practicing and preaching all of its principles, including its core traditional values.”

    Although I am on the opposite side of this argument (and I’m not a big fan of labels), I commend you for taking a hard stand against hypocrisy. It’s refreshing to see people who really stand behind what they believe. Keep up the good work :)

    Reply
  2. Jezabelle_D
    Apr 02, 2012 - 03:03 AM

    Hook-ups do not necessarily ruin a person’s chances at “life-long love”. It first offers a chance to find what is desirable sexually, which regardless of your religion or preferences is a must in a successful long term relationship. How many divorces, white marriages, and general misery and frustration would be avoided if one could honestly and openly discuss likes and dislikes with their partner? I’m willing to bet the answer is a good many. Hook-ups also offer a way to learn to navigate the “nasty” and “hard” issues in conversation in a good way. If you can discuss birth control, condoms, and STD’s in a healthy and conductive way, you have the tool set and experience to discuss everything from taking out the garbage to taxes to income to mortgages to religion to children.

    These experiences are valuable and useful to us, and while I fully agree with your hypocrisy statements it’s still a lesson that we can learn from with the ability to learn new skills.

    Reply
  3. Joe
    Mar 28, 2012 - 01:17 AM

    Anna:I would be more persuaded by your arguments, which are good, but need more, if you dropped the liberal/conservative labels. Ask the question: Why do so many young people, women and men, subscribe to such a “hook-up” culture where sex is highlighted and long-term commitment is devalued?

    You have pinpointed a certain hypocrisy among people who seem to adhere to a particular moral code but behave otherwise. Is it just for he intensity of feeling? Is it a feeling of conquest? And, of course, these arguments go for both sexes. Women are used only if they are oblivious. I contend that women use men as well for these sexual encounters.

    The reasons represent something more, but I do not know what. Such a study would make a great PhD thesis.

    Holding to a moral high ground becomes progressively more difficult as time goes on. But without the courage of one’s convictions, I see little hope for a moral society.

    Reply
  4. Tom
    Mar 27, 2012 - 06:16 AM

    Sex is not unlike economics, the market right now is flooded with cheap and abundant supply for men. The demand used to be a lot higher and the price reflected that value as well, marriage and commitment. It is yet to be seen if women are willing to see their power potential and take back the marketplace.

    Reply
    • Anna Maria Hoffman
      Mar 27, 2012 - 08:25 PM

      Interesting analogy! Thanks for sharing!

      Reply

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