Dude, there is nothing I hate more than the sheer idol worship that the younger generation (our generation) gives Barack Obama. Just like Jason Mattera pointed out in his book, Obama Zombies  (recommended reading) the millennial generation, or #Gen44, if your name is Julia and you’re a mindless, nanny-state suck on Twitter, seems more interested in a messianic figure and pop culture icon than a President with real solutions.

Frankly, I’m tired of being that guy. That conservative guy in class that has to raise his hand and ask if government is the answer every time an issue is discussed. As much as I hate doing that, I hate even more hearing our nation’s youth, my peers, throw themselves on a communal pyre of government intrusion and perpetual debt…every…friggin…time.

“OMG! College is expensive and it isn’t easy trying to get an art degree. The government should like, totes pay for all of this, like all my supplies, my food, my dorm, a cell phone, and just a random free check so I have some spending cash and I don’t have to stress out and get a job at an icky fast food restaurant. Oh, and some condoms too! Gotta have a social life! It’s like, good for me and junk!” said a millennial, in-between sips of Starbucks coffee whilst holding her MacBook with an Obama-Biden’08 sticker…how retro.

Barack Obama pretty much has pop culture in his back pocket, and just like good little obedient drones, we take in all the emotionally-driven cliches and populist blather. Sooner or later, we begin to believe it.

Which is why I threw a tantrum in high school when the song “Billionaire” came out. It was on a continuous loop on the radio, everyone was walking around humming it, and even I put it on a mix CD…I prayed and asked Ronald Reagan to forgive me of this sin.

This song, and the youth embrace of it made me all but lose faith in humanity. Yes, it was catchy and clever, but then when the Occupy Wall Street crowd erupted on the scene, I realized I let this happen by not saying anything.

Let’s break it down verse by verse and see how it poisoned the mind of our young ‘uns:

“I wanna be a billionaire so fricking bad,
buy all of the things I never had.
 I wanna be on the cover of Forbes magazine,
smiling next to Oprah and the Queen”

That’s fine. Nothing wrong with that. Work hard, invest in yourself, you can obtain your dream of being a billionaire. Capitalism #winning!

“Yeah, I would have a show like Oprah,
I would be the host of, everyday Christmas,
give Travie a wish list.
I’d probably pull an Angelina and Brad Pitt
and adopt a bunch of babies that ain’t never had s***”

Okay, so that’s cool too, I mean if you want to just start giving your money away that you’ve worked hard for, that’s your prerogative, and it’s your money. Take it easy though, you’ll have to pay a hefty amount of taxes on that new source of income. Also remember that you’ll have to work everyday, so maybe a “bunch of babies” isn’t exactly the best option for you and your busy schedule. Remember you can’t just abort them, now that they are born and all…despite Obama’s support of Partial Birth abortion. You’ll have to raise these children, you know. You can’t just slap some cash in their hands and let them do their “thang.” Next verse:

“Give away a few Mercedes, like here lady have this,
and last but not least grant somebody their last wish.
It’s been a couple months since I’ve single, so
you can call me Travie Claus, minus the Ho Ho,
get it? hehe.”

Again, you must remember these vehicles will also be taxed and require a hefty amount of insurance and upkeep. I hope the random ladies you’re giving these to have a solid reliable income, because it could be a serious financial burden if not. Also, how demeaning is it that last line? Yes, Travie, we get it. You’ll have a lot of money so women will just swoon to you…they are such shallow things after all, begging to be objectified and live off of successful men….A conservative war on women? Right. Carry on:

“I’d probably visit where Katrina hit,
and damn sure do a lot more than FEMA did.
Yeah, can’t forget about me stupid,
everywhere I go, Imma have my own theme music..”

Well, at least we can agree that government entities are not the most efficient and cost effective way to go about things. I’m glad you are in favor of privatization…

“I’ll be playin’ basketball with the president,
dunkin’ on his delegates,

then I’ll compliment him on his po-li-ti-cal etiquette.
Toss a couple milli in the air just for the heck of it,
but keep the 5’s, 10’s, 20’s, Ben’s completely separate”

While you’re there, I’m assuming you’re cutting him a campaign check, since the only time he hangs out with rich folks is when he is fundraising. I hope after you’re done shooting hoops, you sit down and talk about his tax policies and why he can’t seem to do his job with the money he has. Ask him why the answer is to take it from your pocket. I do however like the idea of throwing your campaign contribution in the air and making him work for it by picking it up for himself. That sounds like a good way to “make it rain,” if one must.

“Yeah, I’ll be in a whole new tax bracket
We in recession, but let me take a crack at it.
I’ll probably take whatever’s left, and just split it up,
so everybody that I love can have a couple bucks..”

Stick to your day job, Travie, which you don’t ever seem to be at in this song. You clearly have no idea how the debt and deficit works. There is nothing left for you to “split up.” We are +$15,000,000,000,000.00 in the hole. You have that kind of cash laying around? And besides, it’s this redistribution of wealth, class warfare, and economic inequality that you are swearing by that got us in this mess in the first place.

I need not go on. This song is all about the glory of money and it inspires unrealistic illusions of grandeur. It puts no emphasis on the working and earning side of success, which is where the successful people come from, those who are committed to the work and not the reward.

It’s a pie in the sky, alternate reality that the liberal youth drool about but curse the only system (capitalism) that can get them there. Of course they don’t want to “get there,” that requires too much effort. They want to just “be there,” have it handed to them, like everything else they expect the government to provide them.

This is why I listen to country music. At least in country music, love runs deeper than a physical relationship and people still get out of life what they put in it.

Rant over…

Tanner Salyers | Pensacola Christian College | @TannerSalyers