This article is for all the libertarians in my life whom I love and their latest conspiracy to piss me off.

I’m not a libertarian, though I’m far nearer to being one than many other conservatives. My ideal government is, in the words of Dana Loesch: “two steps above anarchy.” It would seem that one of the last few issues keeping me from my conversion is that I don’t want Obama reelected in November.

Many libertarians have begun to caterwaul the never-dull mantra: Romney and Obama are the same! No change in 2012! Meanwhile, the rest of America can spot the difference from a mile away: Obama’s the gay one.

Now, obviously, this sentiment isn’t ubiquitous in the libertarian movement (many are great patriots who are actively seeking to kick Obama out of office), but it’s still shocking to see how widespread this insane attitude is. Social media is rife with anti-Romney memes that look like they were thought up over a That 70’s Show roundtable.

On a Facebook page devoted libertarian hero Ludwig von Mises you can read in bold letters: “I will not vote for Romney or Obama.” On the same page you can see Romney and Obama’s faces being meshed together in an attempt to show how much they are alike. Another page advertises: “Mitt Romney: Status Quo You Can Count On.”

Go on Twitter and look for the Gary Johnson supporters to see tweets attacking Romney for everything except his thick hair. One of my favorites was sent my way explaining to me how Romney and Obama are the same except that Obama’s foreign policy gives him a leg up, but just slightly.

What we can’t seem to convince our freedom-loving friends of is that Obama necessarily means a failed presidency, and Romney doesn’t. The fact that Romney isn’t Ron Paul has nothing to do with it. The ideological purity of a candidate isn’t a necessary component to freedom and prosperity; in fact, in the case of Ron Paul, it would likely mean less freedom and prosperity since we would never get our foot in the White House.

Romney is the only hope we have at leading the charge to repeal Obama’s massive healthcare bureaucracy, also known as libertarians’ favorite thing ever: complete with the seizing of private property, price ceilings, endless federal scheming in the market, and government invasion of personal privacy.

If we’re truly concerned about federal spending, then that’s another reason to get behind Romney. He may not have the most impressive, consistent, or conservative past, but he pairs up with a Republican-controlled House and Senate far better than Obama ever would (especially since he wouldn’t have to worry about being elected again).

The Chief Executive is no king. Congress does the spending, and I’d rather have appropriations passed by real conservatives and libertarians in Congress and signed into law by a Republican moderate than fought over with Private Benjamin in the oval office.

In the next presidential term or two we could possibly be seeing the retirement of up to three Supreme Court justices. In the past, not-so-conservative presidents have given us rock stars Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito. Electing Romney would give us a much better chance at filling the Court with justices who actually know what the Constitution is. With an Obama second term we know the nominations will be terrible. We’ll have justices Eric Holder, Roseanne Barr, and Sandra Fluke reading provisions in the Constitution that guarantee a college education and backpacking trips to Europe to every American.

I understand the frustration with Romney: he’s pro-business when we need him to be pro-free markets; he thinks an efficient government is best and we think a bare-bones government is best. But the best thing about our separation of powers is that we’ll be able to hold his feet to the flames. The country is far more conservative than the day Obama put his hand on that Bible and swore to make the country hate him. We can flood Congress with real, genuine conservatives and libertarians (a la Ryan, Rubio, Paul, Bachmann) and get some significant cuts and constitutional legislation passed.

It’s our duty to create as much excitement in our communities to elect as many Republicans as possible (yes, that may even mean registering with the party until after the general). It’s our job to elect leaders who realize that it isn’t their job to help us get along with life, but to work to make the governmental body more honest, smaller, and less involved in daily life.

If you’re not for Romney, you’re on the wrong side. You are helping to re-elect the man who regularly toes the totalitarian line between socialism and fascism. If that’s ok with you, then you never have to talk about compromising your principles again because you haven’t any principles left to compromise.