One of the most harmful features of the last couple waves of feminism has been the message oft repeated in women’s magazines and film: “You can do it by yourself.” It’s left women and children unhappy, many unhappy and poor. And it’s encouraged men to be uncivilized.
A new Pew Research survey revealed that 40% of households with children have a woman as the primary or sole income earner. Much of the hype is misleading.
The story here isn’t that married women are out-earning their husbands (though some are: 28% as of 2011). The real story is that 63% of those surveyed are the only income earner.
There is more than just a difference in style between the two groups. Women who out-earn their husbands make a hefty $80,000 annually on average. Households led by a single mother have a median income of just $23,000.
The number of single women with children under 18 has increased from 3.4 million in 1970 to 10 million in 2012. That’s nearly twice the number of women who out-earn their husbands.
Remind me why this is worth celebrating?
The research documenting the dreadful effects of single motherhood is extensive and depressing, but just in case you want some reading material: here you are. This too.
Everything from homelessness to violent crime to teen promiscuity, suicide, and incarceration rates has its roots in fatherless homes.
We have several things to blame: the devaluing of marriage (and yes, I mean telling adults they can marry someone with the same genitalia because marriage is only about coupling and has absolutely nothing to do with raising children … as well as divorce); a system of public assistance that pays women to raise children alone; excusing men who bow out on their fatherly duties; and lauding single mothers like they’re pioneers of women’s liberation.
According to The New York Times, the main oppressor of women and children “is the idea of the way families are ‘supposed to be.’”
Women now know they don’t need a man. And men now know they don’t need a woman, or they don’t need them for longer than one night.
I find the debate over whether a woman should earn more than her husband draining and a little ridiculous. I cast just as much speculation upon men who are deeply bothered by their wives earning more than them as I do upon women who feel they have to.
There’s an easy solution, men: be able to provide adequately and most women would gladly take the traditional role in the relationship (though you may have to wait until the Obama economy fossilizes).
But the breakdown of the family is incredibly important, and the enduring message to women that they can do it on their own is incredibly important to expunge.
Ladies, you do need a man. At least, if you plan on raising children.
I think its extremely interesting that you managed to write an article that is a good argument for paying women the same as men….and you don’t realize it.
How condescending. We don’t need a man. We may want men, there may be advantages to being with a man, but we don’t need one. Please tell me what a man can do that I can’t when it comes to raising a child, further many children of single mothers are well developed polite human beings.
While it’s true that many single mothers are able to make it work, it’s also true that many do not. As a social worker, I’ve seen children pushed between the homes of extended families (ask them if *they* appreciate the village approach) since dad is out of the picture and mom is constantly switching jobs, boyfriends, and habits. Granted, I see the worst, not the best scenarios, but statistics show that what I’ve seen of single-motherhood is actually the more common experience. Single motherhood and poverty often go hand-in-hand. I think the author makes a good point- we shouldn’t hold up as ideal something which is not. Single mothers deserve every praise for the hard work they do, but as a society we need to stop promoting it as something to desire if Mr. Right hasn’t come along yet.
Speaking from experience. Yes, a woman needs a MAN, not some Peter-Pan, refuse to grow-up man-child. As single mothers we already have children to take care of. We sure don’t need another child.
I would like to know why men have essentially always treated women like crap and now it’s our fault for taking back our lives and refusing to put up with the cheating, the lying, the alcohol abuse, the drug addiction, the walking out on family (for a mistress).
Women are told their entire lives to be demure, to deny our emotions and put on a face of perfection (so much that we harm ourselves in the process) – but men are not taught to control themselves. It’s a woman’s fault if she’s raped? No. The person holding the knife is the killer to be punished, not the dead victim on the floor. Why is it different for rape? No other person has dominion over my body except for me. That goes for marriage, dating, business, friendships, everything. Yes, we have different parts and obviously play different roles in pregnancy and and infancy, however, women should not accept men who treat them like crap. And men should be taught to restrain themselves from raping people, from abusing their significant others, from getting addicted to drugs and alcohol, and most importantly, they should be taught the value of patience and devotion to their fellow human beings – regardless of if they are married or not.
And to raise a child, you need a village. Made up of people. Not just a man. And maybe not even a man.
This is about THE most offensive thing I’ve ever read. As a single mom AND lesbian, I CHOSE to be a single mom and I don’t need a worthless man around. I can do anything a man can do better. Shame on the author!
Well, he is a man after all. Maybe he just wants to feel needed. Overcompensation and all that jazz.
Honestly, this is entirely misogynistic and has no academic value whatsoever. Your opinion just continues the same hatred and cruelty that America should be past by now. Women are not the issue. Gays are not the issue. The issue is the lens that you look through.
This is America. People have the right to live their own lives according to however they want. Judging people does make you a better person and neither does your selective interpretation of the facts
You might be a Republican, but so am I, and our party is changing into a kinder, accepting, and more relatable group of human beings. You can either move forward, or be left in the dust.
Lastly, rather than practically plagiarizing the argument made by Redstate.org Editor, Erick Erickson (see link below), you might want to try making your own observations and conclusions. Don’t be afraid if they don’t align with his, the important thing is discovering knowledge on your own.
http://www.upworthy.com/wow-fox-newswoman-lays-epic-smackdown-on-fox-newsmen-for-obvious-and-blatant-misogyny?c=ufb1
Women are left to raise the children on their own because: 1. the male is addicted to drugs, alcohol, video games and/or porn and doesn’t work anyway. or 2. the man determines that after setting up a traditional family, he no longer wants the old model, but wishes to trade it in for the newer shiny one. In the first case getting rid of the man only lightens the load and in the second, there is nothing you can do to stop him from leaving. The laws have made it painless for the man, no responsibilities, split the assets 50/50 and he keeps his great career he’s had decades to develop and the state tells the former stay-at-home mom to get a job (hence the 23k salary)
What is the thesis of this essay?
The thesis of this essay is God’s design for family. The Bible mentions this in Genesis 2:24 and Mark 10:7 that man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife and the two shall become one flesh. God’s design is for men and women to marry and raise children according to His design and guidelines. Divorce is not part of His plan, same sex marriage is not a part of his plan, neither are single parent families. Basically, God is the thesis for this essay and the guidelines given by the Bible are used to make the writer’s point.
Lovely in theory. However, women in biblical times had grueling, difficult lives.
Physically, men are “needed” to create the children that create single mother homes.
Emotionally, men are “needed” to balance out the work and needs of the children and the woman.
And, let’s not forget that no matter how we try to de-gender society, there are still two “types” of babies that are born: boy and girl. (yes, I know there are genetic offshoots of these but we still identify them on records as boy or girl).
God created one man and one woman, and made them physically, emotionally and genetically designed to fit together.
You are right that women need men. Men also need women. Perhaps instead of, yet again, pushing this on women to lead the change, you might actually speak to men. Women have learned to do without men because of many factors – one of the most significant being the rate of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. It is a Garden of Eden argument to say that the “you can do it” attitude has led to men being uncivilized. Really? Seems to me that throughout history men have continually abused women. How about men change their attitudes of how they need women? Just my two cents.