I’m annoyed.

Actually I’ve passed annoyed and now I’m angry because there exists a widespread acceptance within a certain faction of the population that women are stupid. It incites a flame inside of me that burns with waves of frustration and sparks of sadness.

I am aware of my independence, conscious of my right to think freely and confident in my ability to do so. Yet I am still treated as if I am a thoughtless follower of some parade of female unity.

Why am I expected to think like a girl? And by think like a girl what I mean is that the modern feminist woman wants me to ignore all facts and realities. She wants me to embrace senseless emotion and meaningless hysterics. She wants me to flail my arms in the air, bra-less and proud that I must rely on the government. She wants me to beat my breasts and scribble witty proclamations of injustice on a neon poster-board I purchased from a corporate drug store chain.

The modern feminist wants me to ignore anything that stands in the way of furthering her agenda, I’m sorry “our” agenda. She wants me to re-tweet her whining even if that whining isn’t rooted in anything. She wants me to praise her for utilizing the platform of social media to so gracefully laud herself while deceiving her followers into believing that her phony outrage is somehow justifiable.

Who is the modern feminist? The Lena Dunhams and the Sandra Flukes of the world, proudly misinforming legions of well meaning women into believing that the only way to rise above the suppressed place in society that they believe men have placed them is to submit entirely and without apology to a mostly male government…as if that makes any sense at all. But they will stop at nothing to misinform and manipulate.

On the heels of the landmark Hobby Lobby decision handed down from SCOTUS, these lovely ladies and many of their brave comrades took to their iPhones and Macbook Pros to express just how angry they were about something that didn’t actually happen.

They evoked the age old talking points that corporations are not people and therefore are not entitled to religious views (what are they… monkeys?) or that the boss is winning while the employee is losing. Which by the way just proves how much they hate the very concept of the American dream, don’t they realize someday the employee could become the boss? And then what?

But that’s beside the point, these women also leaned on the slippery slope argument. You know, now the government is going to allow employers to ban blood transfusions, antibiotics and probably launch a full fledged war against Advil. Right. Because Plan B and a blood transfusion are so similar.

But lets pretend for a moment that they have a valid point, what happens if we turn it around? What if Hobby Lobby had lost? What if the Supreme Court had said, “Okay, sorry Hobby Lobby we get that you are morally opposed to abortifacients on the grounds that you believe they cause death but we are going to force you to supply them for your employees anyway.”

Suddenly we have a situation where the government is forcing a closely held corporation to do something they are morally opposed to. If we want to go with the slippery slope argument then what else could the government tell companies they have to do? These women seem to love limited liberty for companies but what happens if down the round the government tries to force employees to go to church or to have a certain amount of children or to invest their money in specific stocks? The slippery slope argument begins to unravel and really has no ground to stand on in this case for two core reasons; first, Samuel Alito took extreme caution in the majority opinion to explain that this is a narrow ruling and that access to blood transfusions or other life saving treatments would not be jeopardized in the future and second, the slippery slope argument can be applied whether Hobby Lobby wins or loses, voiding it of relevancy.

But even that is beside the point, because those are facts and facts are frustrating things when they aren’t on your side and that’s exactly what these feminist women struggled with yesterday. So naturally, they deceived.

Lena Dunham took to twitter writing; “Women’s access to birth control should not be denied because of their employer’s religious beliefs” Guess what Lena, women’s access to birth control is not being denied. Women can still access birth control. It wasn’t outlawed, it wasn’t banned, it isn’t being rationed. It’s still there just like it was on June 29.

Hobby Lobby doesn’t seem to disagree with Ms. Dunham as the company has no problem supplying 16 types of birth control to their employees. Seems pretty generous. So you, Ms. Dunham are not only smug you are wrong. Incredibly and astonishingly wrong.

But Dunham’s tweet was far from the worst, beating her in irresponsibility was the ever disappointing Sandra Fluke. Remember her? The women who made national headlines with her insistence that you, the tax payer, are responsible for supplying her with birth control so that she may freely enjoy sex without ever worrying about the pesky economic burden that purchasing it for herself might carry? The same woman who is currently seeking a seat in the California state senate? Well she has over 60,000 twitter followers to whom she tweeted this message “Supreme Court Rules that bosses can deny employees coverage of birth control. #HobbyLobby #NotMyBossBusiness”

Okay, seriously, Sandra? First let’s start with the ridiculously hypocritical hashtag of “Not My Boss Business”, that’s like me saying “Hey Mom, can I have a thousand dollars to buy a motorcycle” and when she tells me that she thinks a motorcycle is dangerous and doesn’t want to buy me one I freak out and tell her that what I do with her money is not her business. Yeah, that wouldn’t exactly work. By saying that birth control is not her boss’s business doesn’t that kind of imply that it wouldn’t be her boss’s responsibility to supply birth control to her? But we know that isn’t what she wants so if she does want her boss to supply birth control doesn’t that make it directly her boss’s businesses? Yeah, I’m confused too because it makes absolutely no sense.

The core message of her tweet is so blatantly untrue it would almost be laughable if this woman wasn’t a serious contender for elected office. The supreme court did not rule that anyone could deny women anything. Simple. Alito’s majority opinion didn’t give Hobby Lobby the go ahead to tell all of their employees that they are no longer allowed to use birth control. Again, they are paying for insurance that supplies their employees with 16 different types. There are only 20 FDA approved contraceptives. That means, Hobby Lobby is willing to cover 80% of FDA approved contraceptives.

This is a prime example of the intellectual dishonesty that I find so troubling, there is a monumental difference between not paying for very specific form of contraceptive and denying women access to birth control. But that’s a difference that Fluke is evidently disinterested in honestly and openly exploring.

No one is legally forcing anyone to work for Hobby Lobby, if an employee believes she might need to have access to one of the 4 types of contraceptives that Hobby Lobby will not supply and would be unable to purchase it with her own money than she can seek employment elsewhere. No law is requiring her to stay. Although, she might not want to leave considering Hobby Lobby pays its full time employees a starting salary of $14 dollars an hour. Federal minimum wage is $7.25 an hour. Yeah, Hobby Lobby pays almost double (clearly they are such bad people!!!) But nonetheless if she really needs one of those 4 types of contraceptives then by all means she can leave her job at Hobby Lobby and absolutely no one can stop her. Ah, the beauty of a free market.

So please, proud women of MSNBC, feminists, left wing nut jobs, stop acting like I am too inept to read, too immersed in pop culture to notice, too overwhelmed by adoration for you and for Hollywood to possibly take a moment and educate myself. I’m not going to worship you because you are cute or witty or edgy. I’m not going to commit myself to the cult of intellectual dishonesty that you all seem to have a shared membership in. It’s offensive to feed lies to those who look up to you, you are belittling the female mind, you are encouraging the weakness of a strong sex. Why is it that you so adore dependency and yet sing the praises of autonomy? You are a paradox and I want no part of it, so sell all the lies you want, package them with glossy images and stinging sarcasm but I will never buy them.