According to Campus Reform, students at the University of Pennsylvania recently took matters of diversity into their own hands, removing a portrait of Shakespeare from the walls of the English department. The students replaced the portrait with one of Audre Lorde, a feminist and African American writer. The English department had previously voted to remove the portrait of Shakespeare, but hadn’t gotten around to actually doing it, which ruffled the feathers of eager students.

This level of delusion is catered to on college campuses. Shakespeare is widely considered one of the greatest writers of all time, if not the greatest. In the English Department’s effort of diversity, they could have instead chosen to offer a wider variety of courses or include more variety of content in their existing courses. But to remove a portrait of Shakespeare because he doesn’t fit the diversity agenda with his whiteness?

(Nevermind the fact that these students committed a violation of school code by tampering with school property.)

What about the diversity of his own writings? Shakespeare offered romances, tragedies, histories, and comedies, all in the differing forms of sonnets, poems, and playwrights. If students at UPenn truly needed a portrait of Miss Lorde to be hung in their hallways, why not just find another place for her frame to be displayed? Shakespeare never needed to be replaced, and the two could have coexisted. But the weak-willed English department at UPenn got trampled by a bunch of whiny students, convinced that their actions somehow benefit the world.

In the Shakespearean spirit, here’s my take:

Cry “diversity!“; the rules go away;
Remove school property from ancient walls
But for diversity, it’s all okay:
UPenn admired Shakespeare’s work, the gall!


In millennial form, students cried, “now!
“It doesn’t matter if he’s great, he’s white!”
So by their hands, Shakespeare took one last bow
The students whined, and UPenn didn’t fight.


Two portraits were simply not an option.
Miss Lorde must hang alone; Shakespeare must go.
Can’t we coexist? Why this commotion?
Well, we can’t destroy their safe space, oh no.


So that was it; we ignore history,
while snowflakes subject us to their mis’ry.